


Stripped Down to My Heart

by tomfoolery14



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Cigarettes, M/M, Smoking, post 3x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 06:53:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14130513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomfoolery14/pseuds/tomfoolery14
Summary: Coda to 3x02Magnus and Alec are the kings of communication (no pun intended)





	Stripped Down to My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> title from see through by pentatonix
> 
> also shout out at the end to troye sivan oops

Magnus hadn’t had a craving for a cigarette in years.

Back when it was in fashion, the height of machismo, he’d developed a taste for the sharp bite of the smoke, the soft caress of it across his lips when he exhaled. Occasionally, when he was feeling undone, fraying, his body started to revert back to craving nicotine.

Having been dismissed from his position as high warlock was quite a blow in and of itself, and now, with questions raised about Asmodeus’ return, he felt as if he were tangled in knots. He couldn’t protect his people without his title, not completely. Lorenzo Rey was already predisposed to mistrust him, already a stone’s throw from seeing Magnus as the enemy. And Alexander… Magnus shuddered at the thought of his father, with all his wrath and hate and anger, being able to reach Alec who was so good and just and kind.

His index finger tapped rapidly against the cement of the balcony, mimicking the motion of knocking a cigarette free from its carton. After a moment’s hesitation, he summoned a pack into his palm, turning it over thoughtfully before carefully removing the wrapping.

Putting the cigarette between his lips felt familiar. Cupping his hand around it, he used his magic to ignite the flame, and once it caught, the deep orange burn of embers glowed against his skin. The smell of tobacco mixed with the smoke relaxed him somewhat, though he only kept it burning for a minute before he stubbed the end out with a sigh.

“Hey. I was just having some breakfast.” Alec’s voice was soft behind him, still raspy from sleep as it drifted out to him from the doorway.

When he turned to face him, he could tell Alec had noticed the cigarettes by the way his head cocked slightly to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “Old habits die hard,” Magnus offered in explanation.

“I didn’t know.” Alec leaned against the doorframe of the patio, arms loose at his sides.

“It’s been a very long time. It became a bit of a habit when I was young, back when it was a glorified practice. A cure-all. I quit quite some time ago but sometimes I find myself missing something about it. Especially when I’m…” Magnus trailed off, unsure how to finish his sentence. “It never gets easier,” he said instead. “I thought after all this time, choosing to be different from my fa—from Asmodeus would change how I felt; that being guilty by association would start to go away.”

Leaving his spot in the doorway in favor of joining him at the balcony, Alec placed his hand gently overtop Magnus’. “You always look so surprised,” he murmured. “Every time you open up and I don’t run, there’s this look on your face like you don’t quite believe it.”

“The deck has always been stacked against me, it feels. It started to feel like I didn’t have the right to hope that someone could see me, exactly as I am, and still choose to stay. The bastard son of the most powerful greater demon, a prince of hell, whose childhood was rife with death at his own hands… How could I ask someone to forgive that?”

“Magnus.” Alec’s hand pressed to the side of his neck, thumb tenderly brushing against his pulse point. “Whatever it is you think you deserve as punishment, I can promise you that I don’t. The shame you think belongs to you doesn’t. Not in my eyes.”

It was hard for Magnus to look Alec in the eye, lay himself bare and stand in his shame. But he wanted so badly to finally let go, to exhale. “Alexander,” was all he could manage, and he hoped with all his heart that somehow Alec understood. He wished he could take his heart from his chest and give to him so he would know.  “I want that to be true; I want it so badly.”

“Then trust me.”

“With all that I am,” Magnus replied, leaning in for a kiss.

It tasted of strawberries and cigarettes.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me at champagnemagnus.tumblr.com


End file.
